Awkward Dates Strike Again

I don’t know what it is. Perhaps I was drunk one night and got a tattoo that only glows in blacklight (hence the reason I’ve never noticed it in the mirror) that says “If you’re weird, please talk to me and/or ask me on a date” or else maybe I have a Kick-Me-esque sign eternally taped to my backside with the same message. Regardless, I seem to attract weirdos and only weirdos.

SEE ALSO: Dating for DummiesSecondhand Smoke Isn’t Harmful (and other such lies from an awkward date), and several other posts (go read them for yourself)

As it would seem, I have a knack for attracting the socially awkward types. It doesn’t matter where I meet them (OKCupid, Grindr (or G-Harmony as a friend calls it), friend-of-a-friend, etc.) they usually turn out to be missing screws.

It. Never. Fails. Continue reading

Not-So-Happy Camping in the City

Tonight I came to the realization that if you want to be a happy camper in this city, perhaps you should actually camp out. And no, there is no pitching a tent required. And no, I’m not talking about actually camping.

Okay. Enough analogizing. My brain hurts just thinking about it.

Yesterday I’d received an email from Klout informing me I’d scored a new perk (and you know how I am with my free shit – you don’t? Well check out this post). Two free movie passes to an advance showing of the new movie Don Jon – starring none other than the drool-worthy Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Holy yum, Batman. Jackpot. Count me in with a +1 for the evening.

Seeing this as the perfect opportunity to finally get to know one of my many Grindr/Facebook acquaintances – one who actually interned this summer a block or two from my office and lives within walking distance of my condo hence a nearly-always-within-a-few-thousand-feet-away location (yet we’d somehow never met since our schedules always conflicted, minus that one time we were both on the same train platform at once – hello potential for a missed connections posting on Craigslist) – I shot off a text inviting him along.

RSVP times two: Check.

This afternoon at precisely 3:04pm, I receive the following email: Continue reading