Body Ache

“I wanna dance till my body ache.”

Yep…sounds about right. Between work, going out, and moving into my new apartment, my body is in desperate need of a massage, another mani/pedi, and some R&R…preferably on a beach. While I recover from life, here are a few of my current obsessions.

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Nobody On The Airplane Cares

Why yes, I have been missing in action. Thank you for noticing and caring. The holidays are a stressful time, what, with all the shopping and traveling and drinking to survive the whole thing, so no, I have not had time to document my ridiculousness-filled adventures…until now.

(insert evil laugh here)

So I recently made the trek back to Pennsylvania to visit my family for some pre-holiday festivities. Two weeks early, but at least I avoided all the annoying once-a-year holiday travelers. Well…almost all of them.

There’s always that one annoying traveler that you wish had conveniently gotten stuck in traffic or overslept or just had one more cocktail so they’d pass out in a booze-induced coma on the flight so you don’t have to listen to them. Perhaps it’s karma, but I always seem to get stuck in the seat next to them, behind them, or just in their general vicinity where I’m too close to block them out with an veritable dance party in my ear buds…even at max volume…but oh wait, I’d accidentally packed them in my checked luggage. Screwed. Continue reading

True Life: My Former Best Friend is a Psychopathic Sociopath

I’d like to apologize in advance, but some people just need a harsh dose of reality…or a swift kick straight in the mangina. One such person is my former roommate and one of my closest friends who decided to pour our friendship down the drain like the bottle of gin he probably shouldn’t have consumed before scoring his second DUI. But really, there’s no hard feelings between the two of us, can’t you tell?

But really…where do I even begin? Perhaps at the beginning of our soon-to-be-trainwrecked friendship.

When I first moved to Lincoln back in June 2011, I was absolutely terrified to say the least. Not knowing a single person – no friends, no relatives, nobody at all – it was probably one of the biggest leaps of faithlessness I’ve ever made in my life. Stranded in the Midwest with no friends and not even knowing where the gay bar(s) were – if any at all.

Perhaps you’re wondering, “What did you do?” “How did you meet anyone?” “How did you become the Regina George of the Mean Girls or the Teresa Giudice of the Real Housewives of Lancaster County?” Simple. This bitch got on Grindr and networked his ass off (much like he did in Chicago).

I wasted no time making friends with the first non-shirtless guy around my age who had something other than a bathroom mirror selfie for a default pic. Rescuing me from an exciting evening of Netflix, sweatpants, and antisocial drinking, I was informed to be at a certain corner (typical) at a certain time. I would be meeting up with my new soon-to-be-made friend and his friends who would become my new friends. Continue reading