Sleep is Overrated……and Other Such Blasphemous Lies

Whatever genius decided that sleep is overrated must be running the jackhammer and circular saw across the street from my condo right now. Every day for the past week, they have been doing work on the concrete outside of the condo across from mine…..starting at 8am sharp.

For real. So annoying.

Try being a bartender and getting home at 3am from work then waking up to incessant jackhammering five hours later.

So since I’d rather be sleeping, but alas…it’s overrated, I’ve put together a list of other such lies to at least fool myself into thinking I’m being productive this morning.

1. “Sleep is overrated” and “You can sleep when you die.” I hate whoever thought these up. I love sleeping.

2. “Short hair, don’t care.” No. I care. Bigger is better. The higher the hair, the closer to Jesus. Plus short hair can’t hold secrets.

hair-big

3. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Actually…whatever kills you makes you dead. Duh. :.

4. “Orange is the new black.” Actually floral is. I do like that show however. And the color orange in general. Anyone who’s seen my condo will vouch for this.

5. “Everything’s better with butter.” Lies. Not your arteries.

6. “When it rains it pours.” Not always. Sometimes it’s just sprinkling. Other times I’m caught in the rain without my umbrella….like the other night when it was storming. Just my luck.

7. “Good things come to those who wait.” Wrong again. Good things come to those who get out there, work their asses off, and make the good things happen. They don’t come to lazy people. Unless they have a trust fund.

8. “If at first you don’t succeed, try again.” As much as I keep trying to get pregnant, it just doesn’t seem to work. Ugh.

9. “The customer is always right.” No. Just no. No, no, no, no, no. Definitely not.

10. “Home is where the heart is.” Actually it’s where my bed is. It’s comfortable, and I love to sleep. Please refer to #1.

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2 thoughts on “Sleep is Overrated……and Other Such Blasphemous Lies

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