You’re probably thinking to yourself, “Wait a minute….didn’t he just post last month in Job Hunting 101 that he’d accepted an offer and was going to be working two jobs?”
Why yes, yes I did. The second job lasted all of 24 hours. Go me. I think this might set a record (at least a personal one for sure) for shortest span of employment ever.
So what happened exactly? Allow me to enlighten you in the ridiculousness, the annoyance, and the constant adventure that is my life.
Just as expected, my references checked out with flying colors. I received an email later in the week after I’d given up part of my afternoon to attend an unpaid orientation/observation shift at the furniture showroom to see if the position would be something I was interested in. Judging from that afternoon, it seemed like it would be so I’d accepted the offer with zero hesitation. They’d been fine with working around my bartending/serving schedule and seemed as excited to have me onboard – especially judging from the last line of the email:
“Thanks so much and again very excited that you are coming on board. You bring great experience and from your references you are a great person to work with.”
Let’s just say they definitely put on a good front that Saturday.
As I was reading through my new hire paperwork packet, I noticed a few things that threw up red flags right off the bat.
- No vacation time until you’ve been there a year
- Vacation time needs to be scheduled a minimum of 45 days in advance
- Two flex days per year – again, not until you’ve been there a year
- Any time missed for appointments needs to be made up the same day
- No sick time – if you’re sick even one day a doctor’s excuse is required
- 3 weeks unpaid maternity leave
The last one was the one that got to me the most, even though it doesn’t affect me in the least. THREE WEEKS for maternity leave and UNPAID?? How is this even legal? I don’t even have a vageen and mine hurts just thinking about pushing a small alien lifeform out of it…let alone going back to work three weeks after. Umm…hello soreness…ouch! Let alone wanting to have some time to spend at home with the little succubus? No thanks. Three weeks – AND UNPAID!! – is definitely not enough time.
But alas, it was a job. I was willing to deal with these red flags. It’s the Windy City after all…chances are they’d blow away in a wind storm anyway.
After 7 hours, 12 customers, and two sales amounting to less than $200 however….and on one of their “busy days” at that….I knew there was no way I’d be hitting the $40K per month in sales I’d need to hit in order to barely break $50K each year before taxes. Especially not when the other two sales associates struggle to pull $40-60K per month. Please explain to me where this additional $50K in sales will be coming from? It’s residential furnishings, not commercial interiors. Much easier said than done.
I could do it though. A sales goal met is a challenge accomplished. It’s something to aim for each month.
Next red flag: “Wait, you need to leave at 4:30pm all of these days? I don’t know if this is going to work.” Really buddy? I told you last weekend that I was already on the schedule at my other job and you were fine with me leaving at 4:30pm on those days. Hmm…
The final straw, however, came the next morning.
As I was leaving that afternoon, I asked if they wanted me back at the same time tomorrow. Since I didn’t work the brunch shift, I could do 9:30am-4:30pm again. I was told yes and that they’d see me at 9:30am.
All of a sudden it clicked. When the lead designer/sales associate mentioned things were a little disorganized and backwards, she wasn’t just talking about the drawers/desks/registers/computer systems, she meant the whole entire store in general.
Thank you for wasting my time.
Needless to say, I called up my brunch bestie and informed her I was on my way over and to pull on clothes because we were going to eat our feelings….but not before sending the following email:
Sometimes you have that gut instinct that tells you to get out while you can. For once I went ahead and trusted it. Life is too short to stress yourself out doing something you don’t enjoy. I’m back to working just one job and am completely fine with it. I’m making better money than I was in corporate America, working fewer hours, and no longer taking my work or stress home with me at the end of the day. Plus I have awesome coworkers and a great management that I don’t have to pretend to like.
So much for five years of school, right?
But hey, I’m fine with having a degree I’m not using at the moment. It’s awesome going to work at 5pm during the week and then having flexible weekends that are either spent working brunch, dinner, or pulling a double. I no longer have to deal with crowded stores because I can run my errands during the day. I can sleep in when I feel like it. I can actually make it to the gym at a set time almost every day of the week (and the eye candy is AMAZING in the early afternoon). My dress code consists of simply looking fashionable: wear a “third piece” (a.k.a. chunky jewelry, a vest, a blazer, a statement piece, etc.), bright colored denim, and as much floral as possible. I can do shots with customers and coworkers. I go into (and leave) work with a smile on my face.