Success! We’d officially made it to the weekend and only lost one wallet, two people, and gained three bruises and one legit battle scar. If you added in “See a dog get hit by a car right after you make friends with it and discover it only answers to ‘perro’ and not ‘dog’ since it only understands Spanish because you’re in Mexico” (long, sad story….we won’t go there), we’d checked off pretty much everything on our bucket list. We were off to a great start with our Mexican friendcation.
A couple of us decided to break off into smaller groups – some went hiking, some went to the beach, some stayed by the pool, and a few of us went downtown to explore. It was like that “Little Piggies” nursery rhyme. Because it was a Saturday morning, my group opted to head downtown….shocking, right?
After a late start thanks to the shenanigans the night before, we made our way down and wandered around for a while checking out some random shops. In no time at all, we found ourselves seated at the bar at Los Muertos Brewing, an awesome little corner brew pub that’s marketed as “Puerto Vallarta’s first craft brewery. We would soon come to discover that not only was their beer deliciously thirst-quenching, but their pizza was also phenomenal. We opted for a Lazaro Cardenas – topped with pesto sauce, chicken, spinach, onion, and goat cheese. Holy delicious, Batman! This place seriously needs to look into opening a second brewery/pizzeria in Chicago because I’d be there every week. Perhaps even multiple times a week. Forget Chicago-style deep dish…this is where it’s at guys. Yum.
One pizza later (and probably several pounds heavier), we made our way back to the street and continued on our exploration. Popping into random stores and gawking at the oftentimes odd and obscene artwork, we laughed our way through town then headed back to the house to get ready for the evening. With three birthdays occurring while we were south of the border, we were ready to get our fiesta on – especially since one was single and ready to mingle and would be turning 26 at midnight.
Multiple bars, drinks, shots, and ridiculous conversations later, we made our way back to the house….without losing anyone this time! We were making progress. No one got left behind. No one got injured. We were golden. We should have won an award for how put-together we were this time. Practice makes perfect, right?
Sunday morning, a few of us headed back downtown to do some (more) shopping and hit the beach. I’d randomly made brunch plans with a guy I’d met on Thursday while buying my ticket for the Bruise Cruise, so I split off and headed for Blue Chairs to meet up with him for brunch, beers, and the beach.
BACKSTORY: So here we’d been, paying for our tickets for the cruise on Thursday (before I lost my wallet) when this guy with a temporary tattoo of a penis on his chest (a drunken decision I’d come to learn) came in from the beach and started talking to the girls. All of a sudden he looks over and goes “Holy shit! Who’s your hot friend?!” Of course…I was the only one standing there. We talked for a minute before he headed back to his room. Later that day, we randomly saw each other on Grindr and started chatting. We swapped numbers and made plans to meet up Sunday for brunch. The end. Nothing crazy.
A couple buckets of beers later, he headed off to finish packing and head out to catch his flight home. I opted to stay at the beach for a while and meet back up with my friends who’d since made their way down. After a few hours in the sun, I was starting to feel a little warm (feel the burn, baby!) and realized I hadn’t put on sunscreen that morning. Whoops. What’s a couple hours in the sun without my SPF15 though? I tan super easily and never burn. I’d be fine…
Wrong. I’d turned into a lobster. For the first time in my life, I’d managed to get a sunburn that blistered. Jackpot. There’s another one for the bucket list.
Never to be discouraged, however, it was officially the one guy’s birthday so we were ready to go out and do it up right…sunburn or no sunburn. Perhaps we’d even make an appearance at the Puerto Vallarta version of Steamworks, an establishment called Spartacus, where a friend of ours had hooked us up with free passes to.
Long story short, we never made it to Spartacus. I’d like to pretend it’s because we’re classy and opted not to…but in all actuality we really just got drunk (including a special blackout birthday shot for the birthday boy), missed closing time at Spartacus, and decided to just go home. There’s always next year, right?
Monday would prove to be a whole different kind of adventure, however. When we’d bought our tickets for the gay cruise, we added on another adventure: a day of zip lining and horseback riding. It was time to be outdoorsy and adventurous…despite the fact that Lupita was scared shitless of heights.
To be continued…