My Arctic Apartment

Hello, and welcome to what may possibly be my last post since I may die from hypothermia or frostbite in my sleep tonight.

But really, it’s kind of chilly in my apartment this evening. It’s currently a balmy zero degrees outside with a wind chill of -18…and about the same in my apartment. So yes, I’m currently curled up in my flannel-sheeted bed under two down comforters wearing long underwear, socks, sweatpants, a henley, and a sweatshirt. With a space heater going and my bedroom door shut so the small amount of heat it puts off stays in this room and this room only. No joke.

Why, you may ask? Because there’s nothing I love more than being given the run-around. Continue reading

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Planes, Trains, and Buses…They All Suck

I don’t know what it is about airports. It seems like they should all operate the same, but they never do.

I like to think of myself as a somewhat seasoned traveler. Am I one of those new-fangled “Trusted Traveler” things? Nope. Do I fly first class or frequently get bumped to an upgraded seat? Nope. Do I fly pretty often though and know my way around the airport bars? Why yes, yes I do.

When I moved to Nebraska, a bunch of people I met found it crazy that I’d traveled so much growing up and had been to a lot of places. Sorry that you don’t get out much, but traveling is something I grew up with and have come to appreciate. Between working jobs that require (and pay for – cha-ching!) traveling as well as having good friends who are scattered around the country like darts I attempt to throw at a dartboard, I take every opportunity to get out and see as many places as I can as often as possible.

This weekend was no different…until I got to O’Hare. Continue reading

Rough Rides All Around

Really buddy? What idiot picks a Thursday during afternoon rush hour to casually take a stroll on the CTA tracks? Apparently a wannabe suicidal one who thinks it would be fun to bring the Red Line to a grinding halt on a Thursday afternoon, that’s who.

After a stressful day of meetings, conference calls, and 482058 emails from crazy people who I’d love nothing more than to punch in the throat some days, I was excited to get the hell outta dodge and get my weave tended to by a new stylist at a new salon. I’d scheduled my appointment earlier in the week after telling the receptionist I wanted a male stylist who was talkative, fun, and most importantly good at what he does. If I’m sitting in a chair with you for 45 minutes and shelling out a dollar per minute, I expect to be entertained. Drinks are an added bonus.

So here I am, running to the train. Almost falling in my treadless shoes. Real practical for January, but they’re super cute double monkstrap wingtips…they look good. That’s the most important part. Hop the train, start going, and….”Your attention please. We are standing momentarily waiting for signal clearance. We expect to be moving shortly.” Continue reading

Awkward Dates Strike Again

I don’t know what it is. Perhaps I was drunk one night and got a tattoo that only glows in blacklight (hence the reason I’ve never noticed it in the mirror) that says “If you’re weird, please talk to me and/or ask me on a date” or else maybe I have a Kick-Me-esque sign eternally taped to my backside with the same message. Regardless, I seem to attract weirdos and only weirdos.

SEE ALSO: Dating for DummiesSecondhand Smoke Isn’t Harmful (and other such lies from an awkward date), and several other posts (go read them for yourself)

As it would seem, I have a knack for attracting the socially awkward types. It doesn’t matter where I meet them (OKCupid, Grindr (or G-Harmony as a friend calls it), friend-of-a-friend, etc.) they usually turn out to be missing screws.

It. Never. Fails. Continue reading

Resolutions are Dumb

To put it simply, I think New Years resolutions are dumb. I always have, and I always will. My friend the Nancinator wrote a blog post the other day about her distaste for New Years resolutions which got me thinking about just how dumb they are. She’s also a designer and is one of the wittiest, snarkiest people I’ve ever worked with. She’s hilarious. Check it out. Bookmark that shit. You can thank me later.

But anyways, resolutions. Dumb. Yet what have I noticed I’ve been doing this year? Yep. Making changes. Weird, I know. Totally unlike me.

Did I resolutionize to make these change? Hell to the no. So how, on earth, did I randomly come to decide to make these changes? Eh, no reason. It was just time.

For instance… Continue reading