Valuable Life Lessons and Vodka-Lemonade

As I quickly close in on turning 26 (gasp), I started to think about who I am, where I’ve come from, and what I’ve learned over the years. Will this be slightly sentimental, possibly. Will it be entertaining, most likely, I’m a pretty entertaining individual (or at least I like to think so).

No matter how hard I try, I’ll probably never be good at calculus or chemistry. Do I care? Nope. Doesn’t apply to my life. Over it. Those borderline-failing grades and late-dropped classes from high school and college clearly didn’t matter.

Geography is not my strong point either. Clearly, since before I moved to Nebraska I thought it was the state above Texas. I also learned while out there that there are mountains in Wyoming so, therefore, it makes sense to put stacked stone in a bookstore.

If you’re good at bullshitting and wording things right, you can make a job folding clothes and changing/aiming lightbulbs at Abercrombie & Fitch relevant to interior design. Same with putting away sunglasses at Sunglass Hut. Things like this can also help you land a good position after college. It’s all in how you talk it up.

On the topic of jobs, be open to moving after college. Was I set on moving to Chicago right after school? Hell yes. Was I open to widening my search once it was three months until graduation and I still didn’t even have a call back for an interview in Chicago? Hell yes. If you don’t have strings tying you down, go wherever the good job offer is, use it as a stepping stone to get your experience, then move on. Pretty simple.

In terms of moving, don’t be afraid to go somewhere even if you don’t know where it is (See Also: LESSON 2). Don’t even worry about not having friends. You’ll make them.

No matter how far you are from home, your family and friends back there are always just a phone call away…even when they’re in a different time zone. Even when I was 16 hours away, I still talked to my mom multiple times a week. It’s like we’re pretty much joined at the hip…to the point that we’ve been to Key West together…for Spring Break my senior year of college. She’s a cool mom. Almost to the point of the mom on Mean Girls.

There’s nothing wrong with a single-parent household, a blended family, a same-sex family, etc. My mom rocked the absolute shit out of being a single matriarch and did/does a damn good job at it. There’s so many types of families these days, so just because you have a so-called “traditional” family doesn’t mean your family is any better or worse than anyone else’s.

As much as your siblings drive you nuts when you’re younger, the older you get, the closer you get. They actually turn out to be pretty cool.

The world gets smaller and smaller the older you get too. I always thought my grandpa was weird for always knowing someone wherever he went. Then I got older and started running into someone I knew, someone who knew someone I knew, someone from the same place as me, etc. wherever I went. Weird, right?

The only constant is change. If you’re not open to it, well, you’re screwed. Get used to it. When life throws you lemons, squeeze them, get a bottle of vodka, make a vodka-lemonade, and move on.


Take these lessons to heart. If something isn’t quite going your way, just go with the flow and look at it as a free lemon. Just make sure to turn it into the vodka-lemonade. You can thank me later for the great advice when you drunk-dial me at 3am.

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