The Hair Salon of Friendship

Going through life as we grow and mature (or not in the case of too many people it seems), we come to realize that there’s no room for negative people. So like a good haircut, those dead-end-like “friends” get cut off, swept up, and disposed of.

A prime example of this is a girl I’d been close friends with back in high school with whom I had actually gone to prom with one year. Despite being a pretty religious girl from a conservative family, she’d always been seemingly cool with the gays, and she was actually one of the first ones I’d told that I thought I might be when I was 15 or 16. So now, all of a sudden just shy of ten years later, she re-adds me on Facebook.

“Liking” the occasional post/photo/comment/whatever, was about the extent of our interaction for the most part aside from the occasional message checking in saying “hi”…until just recently. She posted a link to a Fox News article about a bakery in Oregon that had decided to close its doors rather than cater to a same-sex couple wanting to commission a wedding cake for their special day. She posted the link to the article with a comment to the effect of “So glad someone is standing up for Christian beliefs. Wish more people would recognize traditional values and what God wants.”

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Let’s calm it down, Biblethumping Betty.

Don’t even get me started on matters of homosexuality and religion. We’ll ignore that topic in regards to her post, although I could have ripped her a new one thanks to my McCarty-era (best teacher ever by the way) religion and ethics classes in college. I commented on the link that, while I respected her opinion, it was a shame that a business owner in such a liberal state (Oregon, hello) had chosen to shutter their business rather than cater to a same-sex couple. Especially in 2013.

Shortly after, my comment was deleted. Biblethumping Betty didn’t like what I had to say. Go figure.

A little later, a comment showed up in my newsfeed that a mutual friend had commented something similar on the article. I took it as my cue to comment agreeing with them.

Not even ten minutes later, both comments were deleted.

The next thing that would be deleted though wouldn’t be done by her. This time it would be the other way around.

I deleted her.

While I most certainly respect your close-minded opinion, what I don’t agree with is your negative attitude. Especially in 2013. I have no room for negative, disrespectful people in my life, so starting with her I went through my “friends” list and started a purge. Gone were the people I didn’t talk to anymore, probably would’t talk to again, and most importantly the ones I was sick of seeing post negative statuses all the time. It’s like lifting a dead weight from your shoulders, although I came to find out there were some who were apparently slightly obsessed with me. I received “Why did you delete me?” messages within a day or two of deleting them. Funny, because you haven’t cared to message me, like a photo/post, or interact in general for the past six months. Why now?

But alas…some ended up being re-added.

Clearly they cared enough to miss me after 24-48 hours. We’ll see if the acquaintanceships continue to sail or if they sink. My money is on sinking, as that’s what they typically do when you move away.

And on that note…moving sucks, but at the same time it’s amazing. In moving – especially several hours away – you realize who your true friends are. The friends who stick with you even though you don’t get to see each other as frequently as you used to. These are the friendships that really matter. The ones that fall by the wayside though are easy to dispose of (if they don’t die off on their own) when moving away and moving on.

Despite the fact that some of my best friends now are scattered across the country like splatters in a Jackson Pollack painting, when we get together it’s like we haven’t gone a day without seeing each other. It’s like the scene in the old Disney version of Robin Hood when Lady Cluck tells Maid Marian that “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” They’re the friends that will never be subjected to the scissors in the Hair Salon of Friendship.

The rest though…they’re subject to a good cut. Especially that Biblethumping Betty. Snip snip, bitch.

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